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Pregnant in High School: My Experience Growing Past the Stigma

One Wingspan writer reflects on learning to grow up fast, lean on her support, and continue to love herself.
Pregnant in High School: My Experience Growing Past the Stigma

I am an A+ student; I always have been. From getting 100s on each test, studying every night, and having a 4.5 GPA as a sophomore, how could I end up pregnant? Being a teenage girl, everything you do is put into the perspective of not ruining your image or your life. And as a Hispanic girl, your own family is counting down the days to see if you will surpass the number of years the women you know in your family were when they got pregnant. I clearly did not surpass those expectations. As I am writing this, I am 32 weeks pregnant with my baby girl.

Back in July, I felt nauseous all the time and it wasn’t until the end of May when I began to throw up and couldn’t even keep water down. My mom took me to the ER and they did a urine test. The last time I was throwing up everywhere, I had a stomach infection, so I thought it would be the same situation. So immediately, I began to cry when I found out I was a month pregnant. So many thoughts were going through my head: my boyfriend would leave me, I would get kicked out of the house, my education was out the door, my life was over. But in the car, my mom, rightfully angry, told me I was crazy and I should have listened to her when she told me to use protection, but what else could we do? I had to continue my education, with or without the baby. So she bought me a chicken noodle soup.

My boyfriend and his dad came to my house to talk to my family to sort this whole thing out. I walked into the house, with my chicken noodle soup, to see them sitting there with my dad. My dad began to cry, saying he was happy to be a grandpa, but it just wasn’t the ideal time. Nevertheless, he was happy for me. Unlike my dad, my mom, upset and angry, cried from frustration. My boyfriend’s dad was just agreeing with my dad. I knew from that moment that I wanted to have the baby. My mom said that if I wanted to have the baby, my boyfriend and I should move in together and talk it out.

The first night together, it was hard to sleep. I mean we’re still kids, and we were excited to be able to have ‘infinite sleepovers.’ As time progressed and we talked more about what our future would be with the baby, we decided it was possible for us to not only finish our high school education but also go to college. School started and I told my teachers that I was pregnant, so if I asked to go to the bathroom multiple times, I could go. We joined a program for young parents that has helped us tremendously with diapers, daycares, and what we want to do after high school. I missed a lot more school days since I was pretty exhausted and nauseous still.

At the beginning of the school year, I was nervous about what people would say, even now. As more and more people found out though, the less I cared. There are crazy rumors out there about me (someone said I got kicked out of my house which isn’t true at all). I like keeping my friends in touch with my progress: I’ll tell them how many months I am, when my appointments are, and when the baby first started to kick up to when she kicks harder. It’s crazy to me how much my body has changed and I still don’t look pregnant, I’m 8 months in January and I barely show. So far I’ve been maintaining my grades and GPA high, which has never been a problem. I’m proud of my boyfriend too, since he actually tries in school now.

Even now, we like to talk about our future together and I like how much closer we have gotten. We’ve been together for a year and several months, and I’d like to think that it was all because of our hard work. I’m not going to lie to you guys and say it was easy; there were times we argued for days, and we got annoyed with each other all the time. Living together as teenagers isn’t as we imagined. It’s hard for a relationship to work out, especially with a baby on the way and my hormones being all over the place. But I’m also not going to say it’s not fun living together, we bake and cook together, play video games together, and watch movies, just not all the time.

The Chester County Intermediate Unit has a young parents program that helps teenagers with their pregnancies and children. The program helps you with your school to make sure that you get to where you want to be in life, even with a small one on the way. This program has helped me and my boyfriend tremendously. They have daycare tours, college tours, and a diaper program that help you get free diapers each month. They also help you maintain your goals, and you can get gift cards for maintaining your grades throughout the school year. Lindsay Bennet has been helping us throughout the school year and will continue to help us throughout our time at the high school. I am lucky enough to be born into a family of support and happy enough to share this program with those who need it.

As my due date is approaching, my family is preparing for the baby. We started to buy baby clothes and cabinets to put those baby clothes in. My baby shower is coming up too, and from there, we get to see what else we need to buy from the registry. It’s an exciting but nerve-wracking experience. With every kick, I feel (which doesn’t feel like butterflies, more like a fart) comes a beautiful feeling that will overwhelm you into thinking you’re not ready but ready at the same time. Months fly by and it’s my job to enjoy all of it.

I’m not saying that you should get pregnant too. Not all parents will come around, and not all boyfriends will step up to be responsible. It’s a huge responsibility to take on. You’re becoming an adult who has to care for a baby that will grow up to be something more. On top of that, school is difficult too, and juggling all of that can be overwhelming. I also know that this journey is really just beginning, and caring for a child is different than carrying one.  If you’re a pregnant teen, or just pregnant in general, I want you to know it’ll be okay, you’re strong, and your support system matters more than anything.

 

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