In response to extremely low wages, harsh and unsafe working conditions, and limited sick and vacation days, workers of Christmas Inc. have been protesting outside of Santa’s Toy Factory since Black Friday this year. Local authorities estimated that around 15,000 workers, stood outside the Christmas Inc. Headquarters, holding signs and shouting for the attention of Saint Nicholas. 

Back in the 1800s, Christmas Inc. promoted new jobs and opportunities for the elves living in the North Pole, but recent reports from elves suggest they have been working themselves to the extreme, with many struggling to make end’s meet. 

The director of Christmas Inc., Saint Nicholas, openly denied these accusations, but the recent elf protest suggests otherwise. When confronted about why the elves took to protesting, Nicholas responded, “Only naughty people would come up with these silly accusations ho, ho, ho.” He added, “Our elves love their jobs!” With large signs that display “Better Pay for for Christmas Day!” on them, the situation differs from Nicholas’ description. 

During the protest, the elves passionately advocated for better pay and safer work environment. When asked about what feelings were fueling the protest, one elf, who chose to be nameless, answered: “I love creating toys and bringing joy to children, but I have a family of my own and with the current pay, I am struggling to support them.” Many of her surrounding colleagues chimed in to agree. Many also mentioned their struggle in finding new jobs as they lack the opportunity to evolve their skills in toy making.

The greatest difficulty the elves face currently is employment. Like many other holiday representatives, many elves only have qualifications for one job; creating toys. “We can’t get another job. We’ve never been trained how to do anything else other than create toys, so other employers won’t even look at my application. The lack of versatility here in the North Pole has sabotaged our way of making a living,” said Miscellaneous Towe, who works in the electronics department. Due to an underfunded school systems here in the North Pole, there is less funding and opportunities for elf children to go to college; therefore, most don’t aquire the degrees needed to attain higher-paying jobs.

According to recent statistics from canyoubelievthis.rog, the elves at Christmas Inc. are getting paid wages that put them below the poverty line, which is currently a yearly net income of $25,100 for a family of four.  At $7.25 an hour, the elves are only making a little over $15,000 without overtime. With a $10,020 difference between the poverty line and the elves’ income, the elves are receiving less than what is considered poverty.

“You ever notice how we all wear the same thing all the time? That’s our work uniform. Yes, we can buy other clothes, but wearing the same thing over and over again helps cut down on clothing costs, ” said Bobby Ornament of the artistry crafts department. “Yes, we do make money, but it isn’t enough to support an entire family or even ourselves for that matter. Rent and mortgage rates here are through the roof. Do you know how much it costs to heat up your house when it is always freezing cold? Groceries are so expensive because there are only so many stores around here,” he said in disgust. Thesadtruth.rog has released a 2019 report that The North Pole is the most expensive place to live on Earth.

Ornament also stated, “Even the reindeer make more than us. They don’t even need money! They’re reindeers, for crying out loud!” He was not happy to hear the snickers of the reindeer.

The reindeer receive first-class treatment, according to knowyourreindeerfacts.rog, a site that is dedicated to informing the public with reindeer facts. Beautiful and luxurious stables, the highest quality food, and catering to every need are some things they have listed as “reindeer specialties. 

“When I was first hired here as a custodian, I went into Rudolph’s room and was astonished at the decor!” said Bob Penguini. “It was filled with the most expensive karats as well as the softest hay bed.” The requirements to become one of Santa’s reindeer are 1. Be a reindeer, 2. Have a doctorate in flying magic, and 3. No less than 78 years of work experience. The elves only make $7.25 per hour, while the reindeers who make 7 million and 25 cents annually with only one day of work.

“The reindeers are seen in every picture and heard in every song, but you don’t see no elves in any pictures, no elves in any songs,” said Agnus Taited, one of the front desk receptionists. “You haven’t even heard a single elf name besides Buddy the Elf. He ain’t even an elf!” Keeping up with wages and managing work hours also pose an issue.

Starting a week before Black Friday, the elves work approximately 140 hours a week while reindeer are only required to work one night a year for 12 hours, according to youcanbeleivethis.gor. “On top of working every single week, us elves have no days off. Not even vacation days,” said another elf who wished to remain anonymous. All sources including, The Knews daily, The Old York Clock, and CSMBE suggest that workers should have a maximum of 40 hours and a set minimum of 35 hours a week. The Christmas Inc. contract does not contai any language about paying workers overtime, nor does it allow for any wage changes until further notice. The recent news about Christmas Inc. has caused outbursts among social activists in the North Pole.

“What Christmas Inc. is doing is quite tragic,” said Ned Dinkleberg, President of elf activationist FTE (For The Elves). “We will do everything in our power to ensure that they have the justice they deserve, but we will have to wait until more information on the case comes out.” So far, no actions have been made public by the organization, so protesters have started to take action into their own hands by starting a petition online to gain more attention. With these recent accusations against Saint Nicholas and Christmas Inc., consumers have begun to express how un-jolly this situation is turning out to be.

These recent protests have begun to bring awareness to the discrimination of elves in the workplace, but the protestors believe Christmas Inc. has the ability to make the necessary changes needed to create a better work environment and a more livable wage. The elves have stated they will not return to work unless their wages receive a 300% increase. Unless Christmas Inc. President, Saint Nicholas updates the contract to $21.75 per hour, children everywhere might not be seeing a present-full Christmas.

The following article is a work of satire, a literary work that uses humor, exaggeration, and irony to mock, criticize, or poke fun at a social or political trend.  All facts, details, quotes, and statistics are made up by the author.